By: Stephanie Kennedy, MSW, RSW

There has been a discussion amongst the Queer Community around the terminology of “coming out,” the traditional analogy of being closeted, as in hiding your true self from those around you. Folks often talk about their “coming out stories” as a way to “reveal” themselves to their loved ones, family, friends, and community. However, it’s hard to “reveal” yourself to people who already see you for who you are. “Letting in” refers to the process of sharing one’s gender or sexual identity with a trusted friend or loved one or disclosing information about one’s identity. “Letting in” acknowledges that sharing one’s identity is a continuous process and can be done with specific individuals rather than a single, all-encompassing event. 

In some of my therapeutic work with clients, I explore the safety of letting others into their inner world, sharing preferences regarding names and pronouns, and engaging in the exploration of relationships. Coming out can be a complex process for many, as it involves the fear of rejection or disappointment when others fail to meet expectations. At the same time, Letting In is the process of further strengthening the bonds you already have with others, often being a supportive first step in living a more fulfilling life.